It has not gone waste though. I have been carefully considering the lifestyles that various specialities in medicine would afford me. Such as the busy anaesthetist surrounded by his monitors who can get an adrenaline rush by adrenalizing a collapsing patient or the pulmonologist in his roomy consultation room auscultating chest after chest after chest.
Blessed is the radiologist who can sit on his computer all day. But imagine being an obstetrician inserting his finger into the unseen insides of strange vaginas day after day.
I know my priorities. I want a lot of free time (which will go to the web). I also want scot-free holidays (for travelling and attending events). I don't want a career which ties me down in a robotic routine.
Psychiatry sounds interesting. So does community medicine. Not to forget radiology.
But at the same time, I don't want to settle for a comfortable routine of mediocrity. I have been led into believing that human beings are capable of doing great things.
What if there is a future for computers in health care? What if there's something that could be unlocked only by a doctor who understands the possibilities of programming?
What if the next breakthrough in artificial intelligence has to come through an intimate understanding of the mind - both normal and abnormal. We could be thinking about our minds in a completely wrong way and maybe that's why we think consciousness is a hard problem to solve.
If I end up as a regular doctor, who will ask these questions? If someone has to ask these questions, why not me?
Maybe I should hook myself up to the ECT machine behind me and jolt my brain into senses. Maybe I already make sense.